A poem on splitting up...

On breaking up with my ex-girlfriend, I wrote this piece to try and explain the contradictions I was feeling and the reasons for my splitting from her. The relationship was 12 years old, as hinted in the title.

Y after X, I, I dis-pair us.

(c)heated moments.
Too many foreign-ers?
Too many fee-males?
Discover he di(e)d.

History, I say. Present tense.
Too much missed her trusted.
Not Ice. De man. Wild(her)ness.
Love(her).

Con-Template. Laid. Re-laid by others.
Rough like sand. Paper over Pain.
Full marks on surface.
10 out of 10sion.

No cents. Stealing Time.
Her – under. Standing tall. Stories, too high.
Time-share. Holidaze – de-fined.
Laid. Bare. Outside taken. Aback.
Never be li(e)ved again?
Miss (ed) ucation. For bet (her),
or worse. For ever (last)
Mine. Feeled. Too (h)old

Re-pair (in) time?