The Life of Shaun Brian

The true story of a reluctant Messiah trying to save himself from himself. Hear how he constantly gets nailed. Notice how he gets cross. Will he last supper? Will he resurect his life? Will there be a second coming? Or will he just hang around.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

The Prone Ranger

Why "The Life of Shaun Brian"?

Pretty obvious: My first two names, and I am a reluctant Messiah, mainly to myself and my imagination, and if you don't know the reference to the Monty Python film, don't read any further.

Who am I trying to save?

Myself.

From What?

From myself.

And if I can do that I will deserve the title of Massiah! And my immediate aquaintences will give off a MASS-SIGH-AHHH.

Why the "Prone Ranger"?

Simple: I am prone to suffer every small inconvenience that life can throw at me. And I often feel alone, and usually could do with a loan. (as in the Lone Ranger - get it?) Or as in my case, "The Loan Arranger - I owe Silver!". Or when I feel removed from society: "The Lone Stranger." But most of the time I am lying on my back (Prone), taking whatever anyone, or life, has to throw at me. Like the masked lawman I hide behind a flimsy disguise - usually humour or obnoxious behaviour. i.e. I horse around making people nervous!

So, here I am: homeless, broke, unemployable, single, carless and approaching middle age. Watch over the next 12 months as I extricate myself from this perilous predicament, and rebuild the life I once had, and believe I deserve. The cards may be stacked against me, but to my advantage I have kids who rely on me, bilnd faith in myself, and the odd functioning braincell. It should be a sinch for "The Prone Ranger", and when the going gets tough, I will use my body double, "The Clone Ranger"!

Over the next months you will learn the following lessons, and how to perform the following tricks:

  • How to have a threesome (that'll get a big readership)
  • How to gate-crash Nelson Mandela's party
  • How to lose a best friend, business partner, girlfriend, trust, and your life and not notice
  • How to create something perfect
  • How to destroy a life
  • How to remain faithful to one person for 12 years
  • How to have the best sex in the universe (Readership, again)
  • How to lose 8% of body fat without dieting

These and many other fascinating things will be revealed.

Todays motto: "My life may be tough, but fuck, I'm having fun!"

Donnie Darko Monty Python Cape Town coping with life


6 Comments:

At 12:53 PM, Blogger ANOther said...

How to have a threesome - been there.
How to lose a best friend / [boy]friend, trust, and your life and not notice - done that.
How to destroy something perfect - got the T.
How to destroy a life - didn't have one to start with.
How to have the best sex in the universe - I do, frequently.
How to lose 8% of body fat without dieting [amazing what stress, caffeine and nicotine can do for a person?].

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger Prone Ranger said...

As I always say, the human condition never changes. We all live parallel lives. What is unique is our perception and reaction. Stay tuned, you may be suprised.

 
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