The Prone Ranger
Why "The Life of Shaun Brian"?
Pretty obvious: My first two names, and I am a reluctant Messiah, mainly to myself and my imagination, and if you don't know the reference to the Monty Python film, don't read any further.
Who am I trying to save?
Myself.
From What?
From myself.
And if I can do that I will deserve the title of Massiah! And my immediate aquaintences will give off a MASS-SIGH-AHHH.
Why the "Prone Ranger"?
Simple: I am prone to suffer every small inconvenience that life can throw at me. And I often feel alone, and usually could do with a loan. (as in the Lone Ranger - get it?) Or as in my case, "The Loan Arranger - I owe Silver!". Or when I feel removed from society: "The Lone Stranger." But most of the time I am lying on my back (Prone), taking whatever anyone, or life, has to throw at me. Like the masked lawman I hide behind a flimsy disguise - usually humour or obnoxious behaviour. i.e. I horse around making people nervous!
So, here I am: homeless, broke, unemployable, single, carless and approaching middle age. Watch over the next 12 months as I extricate myself from this perilous predicament, and rebuild the life I once had, and believe I deserve. The cards may be stacked against me, but to my advantage I have kids who rely on me, bilnd faith in myself, and the odd functioning braincell. It should be a sinch for "The Prone Ranger", and when the going gets tough, I will use my body double, "The Clone Ranger"!
Over the next months you will learn the following lessons, and how to perform the following tricks:
Pretty obvious: My first two names, and I am a reluctant Messiah, mainly to myself and my imagination, and if you don't know the reference to the Monty Python film, don't read any further.
Who am I trying to save?
Myself.
From What?
From myself.
And if I can do that I will deserve the title of Massiah! And my immediate aquaintences will give off a MASS-SIGH-AHHH.
Why the "Prone Ranger"?
Simple: I am prone to suffer every small inconvenience that life can throw at me. And I often feel alone, and usually could do with a loan. (as in the Lone Ranger - get it?) Or as in my case, "The Loan Arranger - I owe Silver!". Or when I feel removed from society: "The Lone Stranger." But most of the time I am lying on my back (Prone), taking whatever anyone, or life, has to throw at me. Like the masked lawman I hide behind a flimsy disguise - usually humour or obnoxious behaviour. i.e. I horse around making people nervous!
So, here I am: homeless, broke, unemployable, single, carless and approaching middle age. Watch over the next 12 months as I extricate myself from this perilous predicament, and rebuild the life I once had, and believe I deserve. The cards may be stacked against me, but to my advantage I have kids who rely on me, bilnd faith in myself, and the odd functioning braincell. It should be a sinch for "The Prone Ranger", and when the going gets tough, I will use my body double, "The Clone Ranger"!
Over the next months you will learn the following lessons, and how to perform the following tricks:
- How to have a threesome (that'll get a big readership)
- How to gate-crash Nelson Mandela's party
- How to lose a best friend, business partner, girlfriend, trust, and your life and not notice
- How to create something perfect
- How to destroy a life
- How to remain faithful to one person for 12 years
- How to have the best sex in the universe (Readership, again)
- How to lose 8% of body fat without dieting
These and many other fascinating things will be revealed.
Todays motto: "My life may be tough, but fuck, I'm having fun!"
Donnie Darko Monty Python Cape Town coping with life
6 Comments:
How to have a threesome - been there.
How to lose a best friend / [boy]friend, trust, and your life and not notice - done that.
How to destroy something perfect - got the T.
How to destroy a life - didn't have one to start with.
How to have the best sex in the universe - I do, frequently.
How to lose 8% of body fat without dieting [amazing what stress, caffeine and nicotine can do for a person?].
As I always say, the human condition never changes. We all live parallel lives. What is unique is our perception and reaction. Stay tuned, you may be suprised.
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